1: I am able to negotiate bed time with myself
It’s late. Your eyes are finding it hard to focus. The sun is creeping back up and you have work in less time than it takes to order a takeaway without a menu.
But you are winning… And your clanmates are still awake… and you’ve gone to bed later than this before on CS, right?
“Ok guys, I have to be off after this one.”
Some time passes.
“Meh, alright this is my last game.”
Some more time passes.
“Right, THIS really is my last round.”
“One more. Then I’m off to bed.”
“I really need to sleep, I’m off after this one.”
“Oh sodit, just one more.”
The gamer/timespace phenomenon, there is always time for one more round.
2: I can take a dump in 45 seconds
Those of you who have played Modern Warfare 2 will be aware that for some reason, there is a lengthy pause between maps. None of the usual ‘loading please wait’ (they throw that in as well though) and it’s not just to let all the other CPU’s cool down for a breather. This pause doesn’t even have a chat option (although hurling abuse over the headset is still viable.)
This pause, 45 seconds or so, has given us a wonderful opportunity to solve a problem that has plagued gamer-kind since the beginning of time (early 80′s).
“Can I take a sh*t and still make it back for round start?”
And of course, if you don’t need lavatorial facilities, there’s always Deathmatch Express…
What a blessing IW have bestowed upon us! Even if you’ve realised that you can sprint across the house, lay your cable and return to the machine with trousers/Y-fronts/boxers/Man-thong back on and the right way round: There’s not always time to wipe. Lovely.
3: TANGO SUKKAH!
Tango Sucka seems to have become MW2’s online catchphrase, and has spread fast amongst my friends in the airsoft world too. It’s just fun to shout! It’s essentially Tango Down.
Some more (borrowed) translations:
“ihmeeni ba’abbi makhzan” is used. This translates to “cover me, reloading.”
Multiplayer Russian:
• brasayu granatu = throwing grenade
• brasayu stan granatu = throwing stun grenade
• brasayu vspishku = throwing flash grenade
• prikroy menya! Ya perezaryazhayus = cover me! I’m reloading
• vrag ubit = enemy killed (i.e. down)
• vrag unichtozhin = enemy eliminated
Thanks to ‘Sunburnt’ and ‘AlphaCentuari’ on reddit.com
4: I <3 Care Package
One of my least favourite things about CoD4 was the ‘flying aimbot of death’, or attack chopper to everyone else. Now it has a player at the gun. Some serious balance issues here, the thing is a big fat ‘I win’ button, and only a coordinated team can bring it down before the game becomes a disgusting spawn death fest. On the plus side, it is hilarious when a losing team gets one in a care package and pulls it all back…
5: Don’t play with yourself
Not if you can get your friends to play with you…
MW2 would be a perfectly good FPS for me in it’s own right, but what made it into an amazing game was the people I play it with. Now seriously, if you have a group of friends who play this and you don’t all have microphones, you are missing out! If you’re on a console, X-box users have almost no excuse, and PS3 people.. come on it’s bluetooth! For the PC market get yourselves a vent or TS server, or use Skype for free, let the amusement roll in.
Until next time folks,
TANGO SUCKA!
Each title made me laugh.. especially “I can take a dump in 45 seconds” hahaha xD
Ha Ha! Love it man keep em comin xD
haha, I learned that nomatter how dire a situation looks a simple tactical header will get you out.